


To the Ends of Arda

by Selenite (Selenite_85)



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: F/M, Future Fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:07:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29890542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Selenite_85/pseuds/Selenite
Summary: Ages come and go, and Dagor Dagorath, the Last Battle, is approaching. This knowledge and the mention of a great danger to the humankind is enough for Aegnor, son of Finarfin, to finally be willing to leave the Halls of Mandos. As much he owes Andreth, as much he owes all humankind. His place is now with them, defending and guiding them through the difficult times. However, instead of being a guide, he himself feels lost and haunted by his past decisions. Thankfully, there are others who share a very similar fate.
Relationships: Aegnor | Ambaráto/Andreth | Saelind, Amarië/Finrod Felagund | Findaráto, Finrod Felagund | Findaráto & Maglor | Makalaurë
Kudos: 4





	To the Ends of Arda

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to dedicate this work to the band Dream Theater. Their music never ceases to entertain me, and is a source of constant inspiration, as in this case.

The windowpane started to mist rhythmically as he leaned his head against it. Perhaps he was getting weary after all. Not physically, of course; it was rather one of the early morning moods he tended to surrender to. On such occasions, he would just sit by the window, look at the ever-present life on the streets below, and immerse himself in old memories.

No doubt the people rushing down the sidewalks would call his state insomnia, or just sleepless night, and pity him, if anything at all. But the truth was he did not need sleep, only a bit of a rest from the problems of the previous day. And so, he would sit beside the window and just watch the darkness come and go.

Just like now.

The traffic lights and the lamps slowly but surely began to fade in the brightness of the morning. Both the street and the sidewalks were turning busier and livelier each minute.

Just a little while longer, and the first sunbeams leaped from behind the building across the street.

Squinting lightly, Aegnor turned away and reached for his phone. 5:52am. _Time to face the new day_ , he realized and ran his fingers through his mane-like, fiery hair that usually stuck out in every direction.

And he remembered.

He did not wish to, he did not ask for this flashback, but here it was – her fingers tracing the same paths through the tresses of his hair (which used to be much longer back then). It was centuries, ages ago and yet it felt as if it all had happened just yesterday.

 _Andreth_.

The phone lit up; a message came.

Andreth of the Secondborn, of the mortals, long gone from this world, her life just a brief moment in history. Like all the humans, she had come here, shone brightly, and disappeared into the unknown.

Another beep – a second message.

But what about all this? What about everything the world was made of today? All those intriguing inventions of the humankind everywhere, shining and buzzing, making noise. It was them, the Secondborn, shaping this world now, reaching into every hidden corner, discovering its depths and heights, roaming the air above and even taking off into the vastness of the Eä.

 _What would you think of it all, Andreth Saelind? Would you_ _be proud of your kind?_

_To be sure, I am._

Even though there was a dark side to it all, like the unthinkable wars of the previous century.

Those had been the serious warning signs that the old threats started to awaken. At that time, the first heroes of the old ages had been sent back to help oppose the evil forces.

And the world had healed indeed. However, only partially. Many things stayed hidden, just waiting for the next turn. After a period of relative peace, new wars, plagues, chaos and lies slowly emerged again. Such was the way of the Enemy after all, to sow division first, and then feast upon the outcome.

That had been the time when Aegnor was asked to return.

Certainly, it was not an order he had to follow. Just the mention of a great danger to the humankind, and the knowledge of the approaching Dagor Dagorath was enough for him to finally be willing to leave the Halls of Mandos. As much he owed humankind, as much he owed Andreth. His place was now with them, leaving the defence of Valinor to greater and wiser heroes than he ever dared hope to be.

However, he found a world vastly different from how he remembered it. Yes, he had seen the tapestries of time while in the Halls, he had always had a vague sense of the constant changes. But watching it all from afar felt not quite the same as being a part of it.

For instance, at first, he had no idea what he was supposed to do. Was he expected to do anything in particular? He had not been left with any instructions, after all. He was just told that the lone, dark-haired stranger on the shore would be his guide.

Aegnor had suspected they would meet at some point, but had not imagined it would be so soon…

But as much as he felt distant and reserved, Maglor was of a great help. True, he hadn’t any warmth or solace to offer, but his knowledge made up for it. Who should know this world and its people better than this figure who experienced all its ages and was still standing? He taught Aegnor most anything he needed to know and left him with plenty of useful contacts.

Aegnor then finally took care of himself, started to communicate with people on his own, tried several jobs… But in the end, he simply followed the flame burning inside him and found himself on the battlefields.

But these were different battles than he was used to. For instance, disturbingly often it was hard to tell who the real enemy was.

Despair and hopelessness started to slowly creep into Aegnor’s soul again, especially during the cold desert nights when he had just the stars and his rifle to keep him company. At those nights, he tried as he might to think of Valinor and the long-gone times of his childhood; and ask Varda to grant him strength to carry on. But then his thoughts would only show him the starry sky reflected in the still waters of Aeluin. In those visions, he would always stand alone at the lake shore – without Andreth at his side, because he himself had once left her. And same as back then, Aegnor felt lost.

Then he sensed a change. It was like a fresh breeze coming from across the ocean, bringing songs of youth along. He wondered what that might be, and soon he learned that it was none other than his dear elder brother.

During his first lifetime, Finrod the Friend of Men had found great joy in educating and entertaining the humankind. Now he upgraded this task to his personal mission. He was again the one to fight the evil with song and poetry. The Secondborn responded and loved him dearly, and Finrod’s fame among them was soon hard not to notice.

Aegnor did not hesitate. The moment it was possible he left the battlefields behind and headed to meet his kin. He had enough of the isolation.

It was a sweet reunion, although nothing was as it once used to be. Finrod was not alone anymore, and he brought his dear wife Amarië with him. But even if Finrod’s work and life of a married man kept him busy, he always made sure he had time for his younger brother. They kept seeing each other as often as possible, and Aegnor felt healed.

Even his new work at the local criminal police department felt satisfying to some point, that is, until the bureaucracy threatened to choke him. His fiery spirit started to rebel again, and he knew he had to leave. It was easy for Aegnor to rank among the top applicants for a position in the SWAT team (well, if not the best of them) but his decision came perhaps a bit too late. The fire inside him took finally over, and a conflict with some of his colleagues that had been long lurking beneath the surface came out very real.

And no matter how much he viewed his actions as justifiable and righteous, he found himself on a forced day off and today… well, today he should see the psychologist again, knowing that his desired position was at stake and slipping out of reach.

The phone lit up with a third message in a row.

Aegnor suspected who that insistent person might be, and couldn’t help a little smile, although he was reluctant to reply. He was still rather embarrassed about his current situation and didn’t feel like discussing it all over again.

Perhaps he should just go over the incident on his own and try to find a calmer insight now that the fire inside him had finally waned. In fact, he should have done that during the night. Now it was maybe a bit too late.

Either way, sitting at the window felt too static, especially at the sight of all the motion outside. It gave him again the strange sense of being stuck not only in space, but in time as well, the life of the humans just rushing past him, like a river flowing around a rock. No, this wouldn’t do. He had to move, he had to get outside.

With this decision, Aegnor stood up and paced across the room to the large wardrobe made of dark, massive wood. It stood out a bit in the room, its colour in contrast with the wooden floor of a much lighter shade and the white walls surrounding it.

After opening the wardrobe, he briefly inspected the contents. A better part of its compartments was still filled with the landlord’s clothes, many of which Aegnor was permitted to use.

But then he glanced at the mirror inside. He paused and tried to figure what had just caught his eye, and the next moment he knew. Not that there was anything particularly wrong about him – it was just his fiery hair. He didn’t really need to care about that at the criminal department, but now he was not so sure. Wasn’t it too messy or long again? Either way, not exactly an adequate demonstration of law and order.

The psychologist he was about to meet should be someone else than previously, and Aegnor wondered if his overgrown locks would not stir that person’s doubt.

But perhaps he was just overthinking. In fact, inspecting his reflection in more detail, he decided that longer hair was probably for the best, for it quite sufficiently covered his elven features. And today he certainly wished to avoid prying questions of this kind.

Maybe he should just pull back some of the front tresses, to keep them from falling into his eyes. And as he tried this idea, he touched his ears briefly. It was a fleeting contact, very light, but still he regretted it the next moment.

It was like electricity. A sudden surge of emotions ran through him, summoning memories so vivid it made him hold his breath.

Her hands again. Her tender fingertips brushing over the very tip of his elven ear, making him shudder and melt under her touch.

At first, Andreth had thought she was hurting him like that, and even tried to apologize. But how could he ever forget the look in her eyes when she learned the opposite was true? The way she smiled, half biting her lip… All he had wanted back then was just to love her, to be hers until forever.

But all the same, he had pulled away. He had pulled away at the vision of her fading and disappearing from his life, leaving him alone and broken until the end of Arda. He had pulled away at the thought of Morgoth watching every move of the Noldor at his doorstep, ready to take advantage of any distraction and turn each moment of their happiness into suffering.

There had been no other way. Aegnor simply had no other choice than to leave her.

In order to protect her, in order not to ruin her life.

That was what he had had to repeat to himself each day of his previous life. He had to etch this idea upon his mind, reassure himself again and again that his choice was right.

And indeed, he had managed to maintain this conviction, but only until the day the Thangorodrim awakened. The earth had shaken and cracked, and the land he had protected was consumed by rivers of fire and trampled by the feet of Morgoth’s armies.

Aegnor’s flame had burned that day, terrifying and bright, brighter than ever before, but it was not enough. Arrows had found their way between his ribs as he watched his brother Angrod die under a balrog’s scourge. But the pain enemy’s weapons brought was nothing compared to the cruelty of a long-withheld realization. In his last moments of life, he finally saw that Andreth had spent her life in solitude and sadness, and for what? For nothing, really.

He never wanted to hurt her, and sacrificed everything to protect her, but everything was in vain.

He had given them both a lifetime of misery, where there could have been happiness and joy. He had wanted to keep happy memories, and avoid the sad ones, but the only thing he had instead was a sense of insurmountable guilt and regret.

He had made it first to the Halls, and she showed herself shortly after. There had been so much he should say, but he had been unable to. He could only bare his spirit in front of her, reveal his love that had always been and would always be there, and ask forgiveness.

And Andreth in her wisdom had granted it without hesitation.

However, beside love and hope, a hint of sorrow could be seen in her final smile. And Aegnor should remember that always – a woman’s lifetime of happiness and love that he never allowed to happen.

_And still, with all my heart I hope you are happy now, Andreth. I hope that you have joined your kin in the Light._

Because what other hope was there for him than this belief? The Death of Men was called the Gift for some reason. It must have been. Even his dear brother Finrod believed it, after all those years he got to know the Secondborn, their history, their legends and myths. He believed that the souls of Men were invited to behold the Light of Eru Ilúvatar, waiting for the Eldar to join them one day.

Of course Aegnor believed it. Now more than ever.

Because at days like this, when the past haunted him, his belief was the only thing that kept him from giving up on his new life and returning to the Halls of Mandos.

As for now, Aegnor found himself on his knees. His hands were joined at the back of his head, his fingers intertwined firmly. Finally, he let out a long, shivering breath and opened his eyes. He let his hands down slowly and looked up. He kept sitting there unmoving, mindlessly inspecting the spacious old wardrobe, and wondered if he could hide in there, between the coats and shirts, just to try and lock himself up from the reality. But as the sunlight continued to fill the room, he clung to his belief once more. And embracing the hope that it brought him, Aegnor finally remembered something. Someone.

As if to reflect his thoughts, the phone on the windowsill started to ring. Aegnor got up swiftly and strode back to the window, smiling to himself. He did not really need to look at the device to know who it was.

“Is it Dagor Dagorath yet?” he asked, still with a faint smile, upon answering the incoming call.

“ _Hello at last, little brother,”_ Finrod’s joyful voice (maybe with a hint of reproach) sounded in reply. _“What makes you think so?”_

“Your obvious and undying desire to speak to me.”

“ _Then I guess my undying love for you is to blame. Also be careful what you’re asking about. What if I’m facing the sinister hiss of one of Morgoth’s awakened dragons right now?”_

“Oh, dear. And I mistook it for a frying pan…” Aegnor countered, referring to the underlying sound that could be heard on the other side.

A light, cheerful laugh came as an answer. _“That's what they want you to think! Dragons have always been masters of deception.”_

“But that’s a rather disturbing idea, isn't it?” Aegnor replied and sat down on the floor by the window. “Visiting a diner shall never feel the same again.”

Another chuckle from Finrod. _“Well, always check the kitchen first... But apart from Morgoth getting involved in the food business, there’s something else I wished to discuss. How are you brother?”_

Aegnor smiled somewhat bitterly. “Quite fine.”

Finrod stayed quiet for a moment. _“A night full of memories?”_

“You seem to know me.”

“ _Do you wish to talk about it?”_

“Thank you, maybe later.” Aegnor declined, not feeling like returning to the painful thoughts. “But I haven’t heard from you for a whole day and night. What are you up to, brother?”

A subtle sound of lips smacking came first. _“As much as I don’t like switching the subject, I have to mention that our cousin showed up yesterday.”_

“Maglor?” Aegnor couldn’t keep from raising his eyebrows. “So, there is something happening, after all?”

“ _Nothing of a worldwide importance.”_ Finrod calmed him down, but then added, _“Actually, it depends on how you view it.”_

“I’m afraid you need to be a bit clearer here…”

“ _Of course, brother dear. It looks like Maglor will be featured on my new album. Or should I even say our album…?”_ Finrod said cautiously, the tone of his voice signalling he momentarily turned away from his phone.

“He’s still there?”

“ _Not exactly in here, but you know, don’t mess with the Feanorians.”_ Finrod replied, the last words lacking some of the seriousness.

“So, where is he?”

“ _The poor soul went to sleep.”_

“Yeah, sometimes he does.” Aegnor sighed, remembering his own recent time spent with their sad, brooding cousin. “Sweet few hours of escape.”

“ _That’s how he calls it? How utterly accurate in his case.”_

“True.” Aegnor agreed. And whether Maglor deserved his fate or not, Aegnor couldn't help but pity him. “Hope you treated him nicely.”

“ _Of course, officer. No harm done.”_ Finrod spoke in a neutral tone, but very likely there was a smirk on his face when he said, _“That is, nothing he wouldn’t give consent to.”_

Aegnor chuckled and rubbed his eyes. “There was no need for that last statement.”

“ _Why? I know how to talk to the police.”_

“I wouldn't be so sure.”

“ _Hm, how disappointing... But back to the point,”_ Finrod said and then paused to sip some beverage. _“We've been basically locked up in the studio since yesterday afternoon, recording the remaining instrumental parts and solos. That is, until his hand got worse.”_ There he stopped again, apparently tasting something.

“As expected,” Aegnor shrugged. “But over time I got the impression he's used to it.”

” _Yeah, he takes it as it is, but wished to stop for the sake of the record's quality. So, we ordered some refreshments and then continued with the vocal parts and production, and I have to admit most of the material got wrapped up nicely. Moreover, I thought why not have Maglor record parts of my audiobook while he’s here?”_

“The Fairy Tales of Aman?”

“ _Correct.”_

“And?”

“ _Well, he did. And he’s still terrific at telling stories, did you know? Brought me back in time.”_

“To the fine times of Valinor?” Aegnor guessed, running a hand through his hair.

“ _And of Middle-Earth, too, bittersweet as they were.”_

“As you say. Bittersweet.” Aegnor admitted quietly, trying to supress the memory of Andreth’s face reflected on the surface of Aeluin.

” _Anyway,”_ Finrod started again on a lighter note, and Aegnor was grateful for it, _“I’ve just uploaded three finished songs, if you wish to take a look.”_

“Should I?” Aegnor teased, his lips quirking up again.

“ _Without question.”_ His brother replied, and a slight tease could be heard in his voice, too. _“One of them is about you.”_

“Eh…”

“ _Oh, what a reassuring answer.”_

Aegnor laughed. “Sorry, brother. Of course I’ll listen to it. It’s just… you know.”

“ _Don’t worry, no names, nothing specific. It’s basically just Námo talking to you in the Halls. And my humble self, adding something to it.”_

A thoughtful silence followed. “Sounds acceptable.”

“ _Now, that’s a lot more reassuring.”_

Aegnor smirked. “Come on, you know me. And what are the other songs about?”

“ _Mm,”_ said Finrod, apparently sipping again, _“Let’s say I finally dared look back at my visit in Sauron’s cellars. Without permission I borrowed some of the visions he kept me and the lads entertained with.”_

“Definitely a way to deal with that. But did you say 'visit'?” Aegnor asked with a light disbelief.

“ _I did.”_

“You make it sound like a wellness weekend.”

“ _Why not, actually.”_ Surprisingly, Finrod chuckled. _“There was everything, after all, wasn't it? Spacious lodging, though somewhat unconventional, and an intense, unforgettable experience that made your everyday troubles fade away. Karaoke evening included.”_

Aegnor chewed his lip. “I find it rather disrespectful to laugh at this, brother.”

“ _And yet you do.”_ Finrod teased. _“Which is fine by me. That’s why I’m calling you anyway.”_

“All right.” Aegnor cleared his throat. “But you seem quite reconciled, do you?”

“ _Well, it’s a process that started long ago, but yes, looking back at the finished song, I must say I feel… cleansed.”_

“Oh.”

“ _I intrigued you.”_

“Maybe. And the third one?”

“ _It is primarily intended for our drummer's father.”_ Finrod said and then thought for a second, _“But to me personally it's a message to all my human friends who had dealt with a long-term illness before they left this world. And to those who still do.”_

“I see.”

“ _I tried to make it sound positive and encouraging, but I’ll understand if you wish to skip that one.”_

“I shall give it a try, likely in the evening.” Aegnor promised, but nonetheless felt a certain unease, which brought him back to his original resolve. “As for now I plan to get out for a walk...”

“ _You should try to eat something, too.”_ Finrod did not let him finish. _“When do you have that appointment scheduled?”_

“10:30am.”

“ _Sounds feasible.”_

Aegnor frowned momentarily. “For what?”

“ _Perhaps you would like to take that walk to my place?”_ Finrod suggested after what sounded like licking a finger. _“There's a lot of food in here, someone needs to eat it. All made by me and my sinister frying pan.”_ He added sweetly.

“Isn't it meant for our cousin in the first place?”

“ _All of it?”_ Finrod sounded horrified. _“Nah! There's enough for everybody. Even though the original intention was to make it a treat for Ami.”_

“Oh. Eventful nightshift at the ER?” Aegnor asked, quite serious again as a sudden train of thought led him straight to a message he had received shortly after midnight. It was from his superior, informing him briefly about an accident downtown (also adding that he would not be needed at the site.)

“ _Let's say it was more eventful than usual.”_ Finrod spoke after a short pause, his diction slipping into a solemn tone as well.

“Yeah, I've heard about the accident... So, it was her dealing with the casualties?” Aegnor realized with a sense of empathy for Amarië and the mission she chose to fulfil in this world.

“ _Some of them, yes.”_

“I see.” Aegnor sighed, not sure what to say next. “So, won't I be disturbing you?”

“ _Nonsense.”_ his brother's voice sounded somewhat cheered-up again. _“It was actually her idea.”_

“Looks like a nice little family reunion, then.”

“ _Yup!”_ Finrod apparently smiled at that. _“Can you imagine any better exercise before a psychological examination?”_

Aegnor had to admit his brother's smile was contagious even through a phone call. “In fact... No, I can't.”

“ _There you go. So, hurry up, come along!”_

* * *

**Author's note**

Hello dear readers, here we are at the end of the first chapter. What do you think so far? I have to mention I'm not a native speaker, so if you spot something wrong, please report that to me.

Also, if you think there are specific songs behind the ones discussed in the conversation above, you're quite right! :) In odrder of mention, they are ["I Walk Beside You"](https://youtu.be/RGiTss6y5-o), ["Dark Eternal Night"](https://youtu.be/M-ZSLUdceX8) and ["Another Day"](https://youtu.be/LYtiDCXLAcQ) by Dream Theater.

And if you think that my Finrod takes delight in bringing audiences to madness by insane guitar shredding (his waist-long golden hair waving in the air from a fan, of course), you are very, very right! ;) :)

So, next time a little family meeting, introducing Maglor and Amarië (and Finrod in person! :).


End file.
